Oh, so you Think you could be a British Porn Stud, do you? I guess many chaps have cast envious glances at the spunky geezers in British porn films and thought to themselves ‘I could do that’. Now, this may be all well and good sitting at home stroking your throbbing stonka as you gaze longingly at the tight cunted tarts being expertly serviced by professional porn dudes. But could you really do what they do? Here’s a cautionary tale for ya’.
The Wank Wagon Project
It all came about during the filming of ‘The Wank Wagon’ – otherwise known as ‘The Fuck Truck’, during the mid 1990’s. The mid 90’s were a boom time for British porn and when one of it’s few professional exponents, Phil McCavity (a one time British porn stud himself) came to UK Shags seeking funding for his audacious Fuck Truck plan we immediately saw the potential, and like ‘the man from Delmonte’ we said ‘yes’.
McCavity had already done the groundwork for his week long round Britain fuck and suck tour lining up models, British porn studs, amateur sex sluts, camera gear, and of course the Wank Wagon (a Transit camper van) itself. So when we agreed to bankroll him it was only a few days before he was ready to rock.
British Porn Stud
McCavity and young British porn stud, Stewart, set out on their round Britain fuck-a-thon one Saturday afternoon in August 1998. It was early next morning when they pitched up in Oldham, near Manchester, where they had arranged to meet up with a young housewife called Lisa who needed a good fucking. That session went according to plan with young Stewart ably servicing her with his 10-inch prick. The results of which can be seen in ‘The Wank Wagon’, available from the UK Shags DVD store. So the tour was off to a flying start. Next morning the porny pair were due in Newark, Nottinghamshire, for the second Fuck Truck scene.
Big Jim Poke
Now, McCavity had factored into his Wank Wagon plan the use of guest porn studs who would join them to do scenes at various points round the country. Newark was one such point and the dude who had signed up was the self proclaimed ‘Big Jim Poke’ an enthusiastic amateur who had seen lots of porn movies and fancied himself as a British porn stud. He wrote in boasting of his long throbbing cock, well-honed bellend, and a hairy ball bag of industrial capacity. He hadn’t appeared in a movie before but he was ‘always up for it’ and got the lob on at the merest sniff of a woman’s fanny. In fact he’d shagged hundreds of women. Just the chap then.
Two Local Sex Sluts
McCavity had lined up two local Newark sex sluts for this scene. Both amateurs and both lesbians who regularly licked each other’s twats. Sue was the butch one who wore plain clobber and sported with a lad’s haircut – while Tracy was pretty and feminine – in a tarty way, of course. Now, Sue might have been outwardly blokeish, but once stripped off she had a sensational pair of tits and a magnificent muff on her. Both girls had written in saying it was their fantasy to be fucked together in a porn film and they would even ‘take it up the arse hole’!
Drop Their Knickers
So, McCavity pitches the Wank Wagon up in Newark’s canal side car park and ‘Big Jim’ and the sex sluts duly turn up as arranged. Things were getting busy in the town so they took the Wagon out into the countryside and parked in a deserted field where they set the gear up and got ready to party. Sexy young sluts Sue and Tracy were gagging for it so McCavity decided to do a bit of an interview scene where the girls would get their tits out and drop their knickers before Big Jim Poke would step in with his stonka throbbing and bellend glistening.
“I’m Just Stepping Out – I May Be Some Time”
Anyhow, McCavity starts the scene in warm up mode, with Big Jim asking the girls various saucy questions, helping them out of their bras, and feeling at their tits. After a while McCavity says, “Cut! Right, that’s enough of that. We’ll go for the fuck scene now. Jim, I guess this is what you’ve been waiting for. To get your cock up the cunts of these two sensationally hot sex sluts, eh?” “Er, yeah. Sure.” Says Big Jim, looking distinctly queasy. “I’ll just step outside for a cigi before the scene.” “OK, then” says McCavity and the girls join in by pleading that Big Jim shouldn’t keep them waiting to long, as they were keen to suck his legendary prick and fondle his large hairy balls. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.” says Jim as he steps out into the field.
He’s Fuckin’ Legged it, Man!
Ten minutes later McCaity is all set. His video camera is primed and he says to Stewart “OK we’re ready. Go and get Big Jim.” Stewart steps out into the field, but he’s back within the minute, a look of alarm on his face. “BIG JIM’S GONE! HE’S FUCKIN’ LEGGED IT, MAN! I’VE JUST SEEN HIM SPRINTING UP THE HILL INTO THE NEXT FIELD!” Seems ‘Big Jim’ had bottled it in the face of two real life sex sluts. He wasn’t the man he had claimed to be. “THE WANKY FUCKER!!” Roared McCavity. “WHAT A TWAT!” rejoined Stewart.
Turned Out Well
The girls were crest fallen. They had so been looking forward to a good British porn stud knobbing, not to mention sucking the awesome cock that Big Jim Poke claimed to have had. But it all turned out well in the end. After the girls had a good laugh and expressed their disdain for ‘Big Jim’ Poke, branding him a wuss, looser, and Nancy boy to boot, McCavity and Stewart dropped their strides to reveal large throbbing erections and advanced on the girls…
So if you think you could be a British Porn Stud best get this Wank Wagon DVD first and see just what it takes.
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